The Power of Forgiveness

Mascari, Brooke. October 29, 2024

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”

-Marianne Williamson

Forgiveness is the conscious practice of letting go of the pain in our hearts; to release the past so we can let in freedom and peace. To forgive ourselves and to forgive others is often not an easy process. But when we can let go of the ways we have been hurt, or how we may have hurt others, we become free to live in the present moment and experience further happiness and joy.

I am going to share a simple yet profound technique to help us work with the challenging emotions of holding a grudge, pain, or trauma and allow us to move into forgiveness, surrender, and trust. This technique, called R.A.I.N, was created by Michelle McDonald and updated by Tara Brock.

Before we begin the technique, get comfortable where you are sitting (or take a seat if you can). Take in a few slow intentional breaths and notice how your body feels in this moment. Allow your body to soften and relax.

Who is someone you would like to forgive? Is there a situation that haunts you that you would like to let go of? Do you need to forgive yourself? Whatever it is that you need to forgive, hold it in your mind.

R) Recognize what is happening.

As you think about the person or situation you would like to forgive in your life, see if you can gently open yourself to witness your present experience. In this moment, what is happening in your mind, thoughts, and emotions? Do you have any physical sensations in your body? Be curious and gentle as you ask yourself these questions and ponder the person or situation you want to forgive and release. Become clear of the emotion you experience when you think about the person or situation.

A) Allow the experience to be there just as it is.

Can you acknowledge and accept what is happening in the present moment? The thoughts, emotions, and sensations you recognized? Let them be there. Nothing to fix, become attached to, or to avoid. Allowing the experience to be there doesn’t mean you condone it, but that you’re simply acknowledging it; as a compassionate witness.

I) Investigate with gentle attention.

Begin to place gentle attention on what is, with loving inquiry. You might ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way? Why does this memory show up as this physical sensation in my body? What do I need right now? Why do I react in the way that I do?” Do not allow yourself to be critical or judgmental of yourself or others, but simply be curious. Curiosity can help you get to the core emotions and beliefs and then move into Universal truth. Curiosity rather than judgment helps us heal and cultivate freedom and peace.

N) Nurture with self-compassion.

Consider and intentionally nurture yourself with what you need. Perhaps you need a few kind words spoken to yourself. A blessing to forgive and let go. A reminder to trust in your heart and the innate goodness in this life. Silently tell yourself the words you need to hear. Send yourself warmth and love and allow this warmth and love to radiate out.

Take a few moments after this practice to take some slow deep breaths and rest in the freedom of forgiveness. If you feel some challenging or triggering emotions rising within you, perhaps take some deep breaths and go through the steps of R.A.I.N again. The journey to healing and freedom is often a practice; not a one-and-done action. As we feel the discomfort of negative emotions well up within us, that is the moment for us to address those emotions with curiosity and take steps (sometimes daily steps) to release them and replace them with trust and forgiveness.

Poet Alexander Pope states, “To err is human, but to forgive is Divine.”

Today, remember the sacred Being that you are. You are already free and whole; all you need is to tap into that truth and be reminded of it. Let this practice be the time that you allow yourself to be truly reminded and feel the truth within you.