How to Process Difficult Feelings and Experiences
Mascari, Brooke. April 4th, 2024.
Even the healthiest and happiest of people can get caught up in and sometimes controlled by emotions. We can probably all relate to this to an extent. Responding to and being aware of our emotions can sometimes be a challenge, as it can feel like our emotions control us instead of us controlling them.
A traumatizing or long-endured difficult situation that invokes strong emotions can leave us feeling helpless and powerless to heal and overcome. It can be hard to take ourselves out of these situations so we can heal, process, and move into a healthier place in life.
I have benefitted greatly from learning how to recognize and process my emotions. There have been times when I have felt that bad emotions would never go away and I would be plagued with negativity and self-hatred my entire life! But let me tell you a secret… the negative emotions we feel from bad situations will always go away. Every emotion has a beginning, a middle, and an end. They're temporary! Sometimes we feel quite the opposite, and perhaps you feel this way currently and would very strongly disagree with me! But even if we do not consciously make decisions to process and release negative emotions, as the idiom goes, “time heals all wounds.”
Thankfully, we do not have to wait decades so that time can heal our wounds. We can take empowering steps now to initiate healing and introduce an overall state of positivity into our lives.
To begin:
We must understand that the true you is the unchanging, ever-present pure potential within whom thoughts are occurring. You are the witness to your emotions, not the emotions themselves. Emotions are just fleeting bursts of energy in motion, experienced through your mind-body system. I always think of emotions as energy in motion. Because that’s all they are!
That does not, however, take away from the reality of our emotions and how they can affect us. Emotions are very real and very powerful (both positive and negative)!
We will discuss some tools you can use to learn to bring awareness to your feelings, release them, and use them to create balance and wholeness in your life. With practice, and perhaps doing some of these steps a couple of times, any emotion can be released. Don’t believe me? Let’s continue together and see what we can learn.
Choose your words wisely by using Conscious Communication.
The purpose of conscious communication is to describe your feelings and emotions in a way that allows you to feel more empowered. When you can describe your emotions from a place of self-awareness, you have all you need to deal with any emotions that arise. Your emotions are not under anyone else's control. You're in control.
Another helpful key aspect of conscious communication is to become aware of the words you are choosing. Are your words empowering you? Or are they making you feel like a victim? You can't control what happens to you. But you can control how you react or respond.
Emotional Release
Ayurveda recognizes that about two-thirds of our physical ailments have an emotional root cause. Emotional release work can be a very powerful way of healing the body.
Dwelling on past emotions keeps you from fully experiencing the present.
You may not even realize that you're holding onto emotions from the past! At the time of past emotional trauma or hardship, you may not have had the tools you needed to process the emotions. So you pushed them aside (or inside) and moved on. But until they're fully released, they can affect our emotional and physical health.
Emotional clearing techniques can be used to release a painful event that took place ten years ago, last week, or an hour ago. It’s powerful for both old and new emotional wounds.
Let’s delve into the practical steps of Emotional Clearing:
NOTE: If any of the steps feel uncomfortable, take a pause. Maybe skip straight ahead to Step 7. Celebrate your willingness to explore these difficult areas. As you heighten awareness some of the emotions may lose their sting. You can keep coming back to these steps as many times as you need. Often there are layers of emotions to release.
As you return to this process over and over, it becomes easier! Your emotions begin to move through you instead of getting trapped inside of you.
Step 1: Take Responsibility
Sometimes emotions can be so powerful that it's easy to believe you don't have any control over them. It's useful to reflect on what old thoughts or stories the emotions are rooted in, or what qualities within yourself you may not be fully acknowledging and accepting. When you accept responsibility for your emotions, you are less vulnerable to the actions of others. Remember, if your emotional state depends on other people’s behavior and words, your happiness will forever be at the mercy of others.
You have a choice in how you interpret and then respond to your experiences. This is the key to the first step in healing the emotional body.
Step 2: Identify the Emotion
Take a moment to close your eyes and recall an emotional experience that is causing discomfort or pain. See the circumstances clearly and vividly in your mind. Label each emotion that you feel—there may be more than one. The more specific you are, the more focused you become on the emotional pain you're trying to release. Take as much time as you need to describe your feelings.
Step 3: Witness the Emotion
Tune into your body. Notice any physical sensations associated with the emotional memory. Locate the area of the body where the emotion feels stuck. It may feel tight, stiff, uncomfortable, or painful. You may feel these things in your chest, or stomach, or you may notice your arms go limp which is a common bodily response to stress.
If you don't feel any physical sensation at first, that's okay. Take your time. Relax, take a deep breath, and try again to shift your focus to the physical sensations of your body. At times, the strong energy of the emotions must be dissipated before the emotion can be processed further. Using your breath to connect to the body is a useful tool. Eventually, you'll be able to recognize the physical manifestation of your repressed emotions, and even hear the underlying message that the emotion is carrying.
Step 4: Release the Emotion
Try some physical activity or create a ritual to formally release your unwanted emotions. Releasing the emotion draws a line between your past and who you are right now. Some physical activities I have found that have been helpful to me, have been going for a run, hiking in nature, or perhaps doing some energizing breathwork or yoga. Because emotions are energy in motion, it often takes physical movement to help the body release the emotion. This makes sense because sometimes these emotions get stored in the body.
Step 5: Express the Emotion
Put your thoughts and feelings into writing. By getting the words onto paper, the emotionally painful experience loses its grip on your body. Keep it private. Use it for its therapeutic qualities.
The act of writing is an important part of the emotional clearing process and brings you another step closer to freeing yourself from the heavy burdens of the past and moving into the future with self-love and compassion.
Step 6: Share the Emotion
Share your experience with a good friend or someone who has your best interests at heart. Explain to the listener why you're sharing this experience—not to get feedback or "fix" the situation, but only to release the pain of the experience.
Ask the person to listen without interrupting or offering advice. It may seem odd, but sometimes it may be best to try this step by sharing the emotion with a pet or even nature! The reason I recommend this is because the helpful part of this step is not to re-live or bring power back to the emotion and experience. But instead to help you process the emotion and further help it be released from you. A therapist is also very beneficial if you do not like the idea of sharing emotions with a friend, a pet, or the great outdoors. Remember not to focus too much attention on this step of sharing. Sharing an experience can be very freeing. But there is a difference between getting set free from a situation and re-living it and getting stuck back into it. You will be able to tell the difference between the two.
It is wise to remember: where your attention goes, energy flows. Make sure to set your attention on the release of negative emotions. Not on the re-living of past experiences.
Step 7: Celebrate!
Once you've released your old story, it's time to celebrate your moment of liberation! Nourish yourself! Get a massage! Listen to your favorite music! Buy yourself a present! Take the afternoon off! Enjoy a delicious meal! Take a spa day! You can do this alone or with others, just so long as you appreciate yourself for having the courage to complete this emotional clearing process.
Congratulations on taking the time to learn and apply these steps to your life! You are well on your way to becoming a more empowered, positive enlightened being. May this information help to free and enrich your life more and more as you go about your beautiful journey in this lifetime.
Blessings and life, love, light, and hope to all,
HAVAH HOLISTIC HEALTH
