Victim vs. Survivor - How a Change in Words Makes All the Difference
Mascari, Brooke. August 9th, 2024
What is a victim?
To be a victim is to consider oneself negatively impressed by others; to be prey to the actions of others or to be victimized by those around us.
Because of things others or the news sometimes tell us, it is becoming popular to label ourselves as victims. To be a victim to the economy, victim to the places we are born/raised, or victim of a situation that befalls us, we often label ourselves (or are labeled by others) as victims because of our circumstances.
“Victim mentality is a psychological concept referring to a mindset in which a person, or group of people, tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the negative actions of others.”
A victim mentality is growing because it can be easier to cope with something if we are labeled a victim. Overcoming a hard circumstance can sometimes be easier if we label ourselves a victim and never have to confront or overcome the hardship of the situation... failure is acceptable to us if we believe we are victims.
Even though we can be born into or placed in difficult circumstances, we can always overcome and be empowered. We can heal and overcome nearly any circumstance, situation, and hardship. Many people today have a victimhood mentality that is greatly limiting and causes them to believe they cannot do what they are truly capable of.
To have a victim mentality is to not believe the truth of who we are.
Though we do not want to make light of the hardships of others, we want to encourage and lift each other up. No one should have to be stuck in a hard situation and have that situation define them for life; labeling ourselves as victims does just that. The truth of who we are and the healing we can experience emotionally, mentally, and physically can bring us out of any victim situation or belief.
How to make sure you are not in a victimhood state of consciousness
As with most things, change occurs depending on our thoughts and how we speak. When we choose language focusing on external circumstances, we forfeit emotional control.
For example, what's the difference between feeling neglected and feeling lonely?
Neglected focuses on the object.
It places the blame for the way you're feeling into the hands of someone or something. When you use language focusing on object-referral (this principle was covered in a previous article titled: “What Makes You Happy?”), you have no control. You can't do anything to change the feeling of neglect because you're not the one doing the neglect-ing!
However, expressing yourself as feeling lonely instead, is taking ownership of your emotions. It puts the control back in your hands. It's the language of self-referral. What can you do if you're feeling lonely? You can go visit your loved ones. You can participate in activities where you'll meet new friends.
Suddenly, from this small shift in words, you will find yourself infinitely more empowered! And then some ideas for how to help yourself feel better will begin to come to mind.
To further illustrate, when we overcome a challenging situation, we say things like, “I am a survivor of that situation.” And using the word “survivor” puts us in a self-referral state. A state that is empowering!
“The word “victim” robs an individual of their ability to fight back and keep going/progressing with their life” (Lauren).
The definition of survivor is,
“a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died/suffered.”
“A survivor displays individual resistance, overcomes extreme obstacles, and harbors inner strength.”
A survivor overcomes what happened and progresses forward. Victim mentality keeps people stuck where they feel they cannot move forward.
So what words can we avoid in our language when we think, speak, and describe ourselves? Here are some words that can keep us in a victimhood state of mind and are best avoided in our journey to emotional and mental healing:
Abandoned, Attacked, Belittled, Betrayed, Boxed-in, Bullied, Cheated, Coerced, Criticized, Diminished, Distrusted, Interrupted, Intimidated, Let down, Manipulated, Misunderstood, Neglected, Overworked, Patronized, Pressured, Provoked, Put down, Rejected, Taken for granted, Threatened, Unappreciated, Unheard, Unseen, Unsupported, Unwanted, Used, or Wronged.
Conscious Communication
Choose your words wisely!
The purpose of conscious communication is to describe your feelings and emotions in a way that allows you to feel more empowered. When you can describe your emotions from a place of self-awareness, you have all you need to deal with any emotions that arise. Your emotions are not under anyone else's control. You're in control.
Poor communication can keep us stuck, not able to process and progress where we want to go. Poor communication is also the number one source of relational problems, divorce, and breakups for most. Healthy communication with yourself and others is critical for mental, emotional, and ultimately physical well-being. Using conscious communication, we can grow to communicate optimally with ourselves and others; leading us to balance and health.
The helpful key aspect of conscious communication is becoming aware of the words you choose. Remember to think, “Are my words empowering me?” “Or are they making me feel like a victim?” You can't control what happens to you. But you can control how you react or respond.
Awareness of your thoughts, words, and descriptions of yourself, others, and situations is profoundly powerful on your journey to empowerment mentality. Shifting these things is incredible at accelerating you to new levels of health, healing, and happiness on a daily lifelong basis.
Words that express how we feel when our needs are met:
Appreciative, Awesome, Blessed, Blissful, Bright, Carefree, Cheerful, Contented, Curious, Delighted, Enlivened, Enthusiastic, Excited, Expanded, Fulfilled, Glowing, Grateful, Hopeful, Inspired, Invigorated, Joyful, Keyed-up, Loving, Mellow, Nice, Optimistic, Peaceful, Quiet, Radiant, Relaxed, Secure, Thankful, Upbeat, Vivacious, Warm, Whole, Yummy, or Zestful!
Words that express how we feel when our needs are not being met:
Afraid, Anxious, Ashamed, Blah, Chagrined, Confused, Detached, Discouraged, Embarrassed, Empty, Frightened, Frustrated, Gloomy, Guilty, Hurt, Irritable, Jealous, Jittery, Lonely, Lost, Miserable, Nauseated, Nervous, Overwhelmed, Panicky, Pessimistic, Resentful, Restless, Suspicious, Terrified, Tired, Uneasy, Unhappy, Unsettled, Vexed, or Withdrawn.
Blessings and light on your journey to perfect internal and external health and happiness,
Havah Holistic Health
